The pressure to be perfect is very real in our world. Perfectionism can touch any part of our lives. You may feel the need to be the “perfect” spouse, parent, student, or friend. You may also feel perfectionism while at your job or engaging in your hobbies.
The pursuit of perfectionism often leads to unhelpful image management, anxiety, depression, social isolation, shame, disappointment, stress, and burnout. We understand how challenging perfectionism can be and we are here to support you.
At Becoming Anchored, we believe that we can all become more anchored in what is truly important to us. We also believe that you can find peace, over perfection. We are dedicated to providing you with hope and support on this journey.
Today, we are exploring perfectionism with curiosity and compassion. We hope our reflections and gentle guidance will help you live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Perfection Isn’t Real
First and foremost, perfection is not real. Of note, there is no such thing as a perfect life, human, friend, or job. Letting go of this belief is difficult because of the lie we are sold on a near-daily basis that perfection is real and attainable.
So, Why Do We Try To Be Perfect?
Because we essentially believe that perfectionism will help us in some way shape or form.
However, everyone has their unique reasons for pursuing perfectionism. We encourage you to get curious about why you try to be perfect.
Is it because you have shame you are trying to cover up? Do you believe that if you are perfect, you will not go through hard things? Is it because your family of origin gave you the message (implicitly or explicitly) that you needed to be perfect to be loved?
Narrowing down your “why” around perfectionism can be a helpful starting place to letting go of it. Increased insight means increased likelihood of shifting the pressure and changing behavior.
Helping Ourselves Move Through Perfectionism
These practices are intended to help you pivot from perfectionism and cultivate lasting kindness to yourself.
Implement self-compassion statements.
Self-compassion has been shown to decrease perfectionism. You can say compassionate statements to yourself or write them down. Self-compassion statements include: I’m doing the best I can, I’m learning as I go, or I did (...) well.
Do things imperfectly.
This practice allows for increased flexibility, room for error, permission to make mistakes, and to learn and grow from them. Doing something imperfectly also shows us that we can survive and thrive through imperfection.
Resit the urge to procrastinate.
Perfectionism and procrastination often go together and lead us to all-or-nothing thinking. You may have experienced the thought, “If I do not do it perfectly, I should not do it at all.”
This perspective not only fosters erroneous thinking, it also prevents us from completing tasks, trying new things, being creative, or taking a chance. Conversely, it may also lead to tasks taking longer than necessary to complete.
When you have the urge to procrastinate, get started anyway. Move forward with compassion and courage, rather than fear of failure.
It takes true intention, however, your symptoms of perfectionism can improve. As always, I am rooting for you!
Additional Resources
Pivoting from Perfectionism: Tangible Tools for Hope and Change For Adult Women:
You already are enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Taught by a licensed therapist, this hope-driven course will provide you with empowering tools and a practical workbook.
This wellness course was created to help you know that you are safe to show up how you are, set realistic expectations, feel comfortable when things don’t go according to plan, and find practical ways to care for yourself
To let go of perfectionism and allow your confidence to flourish, register here.
Compassionate Affirmation:
“I do not need to be perfect. I am already deserving of love, peace, and care.”
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
At Becoming Anchored Co., we are dedicated to supporting individuals on their journey toward personal growth and well-being. Our mission is to provide tools and insights that foster resilience, connection, and authenticity.
Our evidence-based resources, including our podcast and courses, are designed to empower you. We have also curated a selection of thoughtfully designed products to help you stay anchored, that you can wear on your path to discovery and growth.
We believe in the importance of creating a nurturing and inclusive environment where every story is valued and honored. Join us in our commitment to thriving and flourishing together.
What a Therapist Wants You to Know About Perfectionism
