Our bodies are innately wise and they are the holders of our stories. In my therapy practice, many clients experience difficulty with this concept for many reasons. Perhaps you have struggled with body image concerns, an eating disorder, or you have walked through recovery from trauma and you feel as if your body has not shown up for you in ways you need it to. If that is you, I want you to know I see you and I hear you, and I am with you. In this blog, we explore the three levels of safety and how they keep our bodies safe.
Internal Safety
We experience three levels of safety on a consistent basis and our bodies are scanning and assessing for at all times, oftentimes on a subconscious level. The first level is internal safety, which is safety within ourselves and our ability to keep ourselves safe. This is also our ability to recognize what we may need and give ourselves that need.
Another way to think about internal safety is through the term embodiment. Embodiment is the practice of attending to various sensations within our bodies. An example of this is when our bodies are not given adequate, consistent, and a variety of nutrition. When this happens our body detects an internal threat and sends us into survival mode which can increase cortisol levels, or our stress hormone. The ability to trust our bodies and to experience safety within our bodies allows us to move through the world through values-aligned decisions and a sense of ease.
External Safety
The second level of safety is external, meaning that our bodies are scanning for cues in our environment. Our external safety cues are activated in new places, large crowds, or situations that remind you of past trauma. Our bodies detect un-safety and will support us in activating responses that support us in moving towards safety once again.
For example, if I am driving my car and someone veers into my lane, I will hit my brakes and do what I can in order to get out of the other car’s way. This shows us an example of an external threat in our environment, and how our bodies react to unsafe situations in order to keep us safe.
Relational Safety
The last level of safety that our bodies are assessing for is relational safety. This looks like scanning and exploring how we may perceive others’ facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. All of these elements signal to us whether people are trustworthy and can foster a safe, emotional connection.
Alongside this, there are many cues that help us feel more relationally safe, such as validation from others or noticing a softness in someone’s face. Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (RODBT), it actually highlights how our eyebrows (if positioned in a certain way) can send messages of safety or unsafety.
Our bodies are consistently scanning for safety and they are doing the best they can to protect us. They are always adapting to our internal selves, external environments, and relationships in order to help us survive. The hopeful message from this is that our bodies work for us and not against us. It is a compassionate way to start to begin to build trust back in you as a person and in your body.
Additional Resource:
How Our Bodies Protect Us: Through a Polyvagal Lens - On this episode of Becoming Anchored, licensed therapist and host Laura Deneen is joined by fellow licensed therapist Rachel Sellers. Together, they explore finding safety and connection through using our nervous system and discuss how our nervous system protects us and keeps us safe. You can listen to the episode here.
Compassionate Affirmation: “My body is doing the best it can and it keeps me safe.”
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
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