Today, we are continuing the conversation about image management, which is marked by an effort to control what others think of us and to manage how we are perceived. In order to gently shift this behavior, we must look at the insight and awareness components around the concept of image management and the ways we may be suffering because of it.
Cultivating a Desire To Change
Change can be very hard. When we decide to make changes in our lives, there is a difference between wanting and willingness around the change itself. Wanting to change signifies a desire, while willing to change implies a commitment to action and effort.
When we are contemplating change, it can be helpful to ask ourselves questions to explore what we may or need to be different in our lives. For example, you may ask yourself,, “How does my current behavior fit within my values?”, “How would I like things to be different?”, and “What is preventing me from taking necessary steps to change?”. These are all helpful ways to continue to cultivate the desire to change.
Consequences of Image Management
There are many consequences associated with image management; and I invite you to think about how much time you may spend worrying about what other people think of you. If you are struggling with this, remember we practice exploring this with curiosity over shame, and you are not alone.
I also want to encourage you to think about how efforts to engage in image management might be sacrificing your authenticity. Perhaps you have been someone that has never spoken up or shared your thoughts, opinions, or needs. Maybe you self-abandon, which essentially means ignoring your innate sense of Self. I want to encourage you to list out your consequences.
If you are consistently monitoring how others perceive you, it can lead to you acting against your values. Values-based living cultivates congruency, and essentially allows our insides to match our outside behaviors.
Consider The Source
When you decide to make changes and begin to reduce caring about what others think about you, a helpful first step is considering the source of where peoples’ opinions are coming from. Brené Brown discusses the idea, inspired by Theodore Roosevelt’s speech called “Man in the Arena”, that all the names of the people we will tolerate and accept feedback from can fit onto a 1”x1” index card.
We will face criticism in this life and when we are working on letting go of image management, we need to consider the source and the consequences associated with this behavior.
Now, there is so much hope and I encourage you to take my masterclass on the concept of image management if you are interested in learning more about this concept.
Additional Resource:
Overthinking Masterclass: In this free masterclass, I explore the idea of letting go of fear and what others think about you. You will learn how to understand image management so you can release the grip of social anxiety. We will embark on a healing journey to go from living in fear of being perceived to self-acceptance. You can enroll in the masterclass here.
Compassionate Affirmation: “I can make necessary changes in order to let go of being fearful of what others think about me.”
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
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