In this episode of Becoming Anchored, licensed therapist and host Laura Deneen is joined by fellow licensed therapist with Red Therapy Group, Kayla Smith.
Together we explore different attachment styles and how it can show up in dating relationships.
Key Takeaways From This Episode:
- The Main Attachment Styles: Kayla gives helpful information regarding the main attachment styles of styles, including anxious, avoidant, and anxious avoidant. In anxious attachment, people will find relief in closeness in relationships and may commit quickly. In avoidant attachment, people may have fear around losing themselves in the relationship or have fear around not being enough. In anxious avoidant attachment, people desire connection but when it comes, it can feel overbearing.
- Where Attachment Originates From: Laura and Kayla discuss that our attachment comes from small, mundane moments we had with our earliest caregivers. It can also originate from how our caregivers reacted to our emotional experiences, whether they embraced our emotions or perhaps we received a message that we need to detach from our emotions which can sometimes lead to avoidant attachment.
- How To Experience Healthy Dating Relationships: We discuss being curious about how we may react in our dating relationships. Laura and Kayla ask the questions, “Do I press the gas or pull away?” and explore what these behaviors may tell us. They encourage us to be compassionate with ourselves as we are exploring our attachment style and normalize that dating is fun and is also vulnerable. Kayla gives the recommendations of “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson and the Instagram account The Secure Relationship.
This episode is full of insightful tips to understand your attachment style and gives compassionate tools to move forward in a healthy way in dating regardless of your attachment style.
Join us as we explore how to find safety and connection with others through our own attachment!
Compassionate Affirmation: “ I don't need to hustle and get big to sort of prove myself, but also I don't need to hide, I can just stand my sacred ground and see how this person receives it.”
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