Becoming Anchored S4E8: How Attachment Style Affects Dating

In this episode of Becoming Anchored, licensed therapist and host Laura Deneen is joined by fellow licensed therapist with Red Therapy Group, Kayla Smith.
Together we explore different attachment styles and how it can show up in dating relationships.

Key Takeaways From This Episode:

  1. The Main Attachment Styles: Kayla gives helpful information regarding the main attachment styles of styles, including anxious, avoidant, and anxious avoidant. In anxious attachment, people will find relief in closeness in relationships and may commit quickly. In avoidant attachment, people may have fear around losing themselves in the relationship or have fear around not being enough. In anxious avoidant attachment, people desire connection but when it comes, it can feel overbearing.
  2. Where Attachment Originates From: Laura and Kayla discuss that our attachment comes from small, mundane moments we had with our earliest caregivers. It can also originate from how our caregivers reacted to our emotional experiences, whether they embraced our emotions or perhaps we received a message that we need to detach from our emotions which can sometimes lead to avoidant attachment.
  3. How To Experience Healthy Dating Relationships: We discuss being curious about how we may react in our dating relationships. Laura and Kayla ask the questions, “Do I press the gas or pull away?” and explore what these behaviors may tell us. They encourage us to be compassionate with ourselves as we are exploring our attachment style and normalize that dating is fun and is also vulnerable. Kayla gives the recommendations of “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson and the Instagram account The Secure Relationship.


This episode is full of insightful tips to understand your attachment style and gives compassionate tools to move forward in a healthy way in dating regardless of your attachment style.


Join us as we explore how to find safety and connection with others through our own attachment!


Compassionate Affirmation: “ I don't need to hustle and get big to sort of prove myself, but also I don't need to hide, I can just stand my sacred ground and see how this person receives it.


Friend, we are passionate about offering more support beyond the insights and advice in this podcast. 


At Becoming Anchored, we believe that we can all become more anchored in what is truly important to us. Our commitment is to authenticity, living in harmony with our values, and embracing the incredible resilience and adaptability that define the human spirit. 

The Safe and Connected Masterclass: This free masterclass is your guide to creating environments where your grief is sincerely understood and your feelings are valued. 
Why Do I Care So Much What People Think About Me? Letting Go of Fear Masterclass: This free masterclass teaches you how to release doubt and confidently trust yourself. Self acceptance begins here.
How To Practice Boundary Setting: This compassionate course teaches you necessary skills for self awareness, improved relationships, and fostering confidence. Let’s embark on a rewarding journey that empowers you to live authentically! 
Navigating Friendships as an Adult Woman: Gain the tools to enhance communication, trust, and genuine connection in this educational wellness course. This isn’t just theory; it’s the very foundation Laura used to transform her own relationships, bringing more depth and satisfaction in her own life. 
Recovering People Pleaser: This evidence-based mini course will teach you how to advocate for yourself, so you can have healthy relationships and connection with others. You will learn how to advocate for yourself and access your innate self-worth.
Pivoting From Perfectionism: This compassionate course will show you that you do not have to be perfect in order to be loved and will give you practical tools to live authentically. This course provides practical insights and tools for tackling perfectionism.


We have also curated a selection of thoughtfully designed products to help you stay anchored,  that you can wear on your path to discovery and growth.  Additionally, for those seeking personalized guidance on their mental health journey, our team located in Brentwood, TN offers professional therapy services tailored to meet your individual needs, fostering a path to healing and growth. If you are not located in the greater Nashville area, we gently encourage you to find a licensed therapist local to you. 


We hope you embrace the Becoming Anchored community by subscribing to this podcast. We are so honored to provide you with resources, inspiration, and support on your journey to wellness.