Have you ever found yourself putting others’ needs above your own to the point where you feel like you’re losing yourself? This is a common behavior known as people pleasing.
People pleasing may also look like: Pretending you’re okay to avoid conflict or discomfort in relationships, saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” struggling to set boundaries, apologizing often when it is not necessary.
If you compromise to make everyone else happy and are unsure how to communicate your needs assertively – you are not alone and we are here to help.
At Becoming Anchored, we are dedicated to providing hope and support on your journey to healthier relationships, personal wellness, and authenticity. We believe you are capable of cultivating resilience, embracing your innate sense of self worth, and lovingly taking care of yourself.
3 Mindful Ways to Reduce People Pleasing
I hope these simple steps and strategies will help you regain your true sense of self, cultivate self-compassion, and create healthier boundaries for your relationships.
1. Cultivate Awareness
The first step to reduce people pleasing is to recognize and name this behavior for what it is.
People pleasing is a pattern of behavior where we prioritize others’ needs at our own expense. It often stems from a desire to avoid conflict, gain approval, or cope with difficult emotions.
Start by identifying environments and relationships where you are most likely to engage in people pleasing. Is it with your boss, parents, romantic partner, or friends? How long has this behavior been present? When might it have started?
I encourage you to approach these questions with curiosity, rather than shame and judgement. By cultivating awareness and curiosity, you can begin to identify areas of your life where you can make changes.
2. Understand the Consequences
Next it is important to understand the consequences of people pleasing. While it might seem like a way to maintain harmony and avoid conflict, the long term effects can often be detrimental.
People pleasing can lead to poor boundaries, dishonesty with yourself and others, and a deep sense of self abandonment. You might find yourself feeling resentful, unfulfilled, and disconnected from your own needs and desires.
As a gentle reminder, recognizing these consequences is not to promote shame or a sense of failure; rather, it is to serve as motivation to make positive changes in your behavior and relationships.
3. Move Forward with Self-Compassion
Finally to reduce people pleasing, you need to start making changes.
One effective strategy is to pause before automatically saying yes to requests. Ask yourself if you have the capacity to take on the task, if you genuinely want to do it, or if you’re saying yes out of fear or obligation.
Practice assertive communication and setting boundaries. Challenge yourself to sit with the discomfort that might come from saying no or setting a limit. Over time, these small changes can help you reclaim your sense of self and build healthier, more balanced relationships.
As you start making changes to reduce people pleasing behaviors, I invite you to move forward with self-compassion.
People pleasing is a common behavior that many of us struggle with but it doesn’t have to define your interactions. By recognizing the behavior, understanding its consequences, and making intentional changes, you can reduce people pleasing and create a more fulfilling and authentic life.
Additional Resources
Recovering People Pleaser: Boundaries, Communication, and Empowerment:
When you’re keeping the peace for everyone else – who is taking care of you?
You matter too. It’s time to feel understood, respected, and cared for. No more ignoring your needs and putting yourself last. You deserve to feel appreciated and have thriving connections that are built on compassion and respect.
Taught by a licensed therapist, you will learn how to set boundaries without guilt, release doubt and shame, express yourself freely, and get your needs met.
Discover how to advocate for yourself, so you can have healthy relationships and thriving connections with both yourself and others. Register here.
Compassionate Affirmation:
“I embrace my worth and create space for my true self to thrive.”
Welcome back home to yourself, friend. We are so honored to provide you with a safe harbor.
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
At Becoming Anchored Co., we are dedicated to supporting individuals on their journey toward personal growth and well-being. Our mission is to provide tools and insights that foster resilience, connection, and authenticity.
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