Self worth is our ability to view ourselves as worthy or valuable. As human beings, my belief is that we all have a sense of innate worth because we are human. We are all worthy of love, peace, comfort, and joy.
If you struggle with your sense of self worth, you’re not alone. A lot of people struggle to see themselves as valuable or to have a posture of kindness and tenderness towards themselves.
Friend, we are here to help you increase your sense of self-worth from a place of compassion and curiosity. Here are some mindful questions to ask yourself to rediscover your innate sense of worth as a human being.
What’s Prevented You from Feeling Confident?
The first step to healing is getting curious about what has led you to struggle with low self-esteem.
Remember, friend, low self-worth doesn’t happen overnight. It occurs incrementally over time. Oftentimes, low self-worth can be linked back to our childhood experiences or perhaps developmental trauma. These early experiences are formative and play a role in how you esteem yourself in the present.
I want to invite you to bring your family of origin to mind. How did caretakers talk to and about you? Was it loving and kind?
Think of your early experiences with the other adults, such as teachers, coaches, or mentors. How did they speak to you? Were they critical of you? Were they dismissive?
Think of your early peer relationships. Were you bullied in school? Or do you remember having friendships that were safe and supportive?
We actually learn how to esteem ourselves based on the cumulative experiences with others growing up. How the adults in our early lives talked to and about us greatly influences how we see ourselves today.
The good news is that we can actually go back and gently look at these wounds and access healing around our sense of self-worth.
Friend, you are capable of repairing these wounds in a safe and therapeutic space. We invite you to gently begin this exploration into earlier childhood experiences. If it becomes too much, know that you can place it to the side and come back to it at a later point.
We encourage you to take breaks and remember to offer yourself an abundance of self-compassion as you engage in this inner-child work.
What Are You Struggling with Right Now?
Look at what currently might be getting in the way of believing you’re worthy.
Are you having difficult experiences with loved ones who aren’t treating you kindly? Perhaps you are being criticized often in your workplace? Start to notice the dynamics in your environments, whether it’s personal or professional.
Now consider how you speak and treat yourself. Are you highly critical of yourself? Is nothing ever good enough for you? Do you have difficulty celebrating your wins? Perfectionism negatively impacts self-esteem and leads to a loud inner critic, shame, and fear.
What Boundaries Would Be Supportive of Your Self-worth?
If you struggle with low self-worth, you may also struggle in setting appropriate boundaries with others, whether your boundaries tend to be porous or overly rigid. You may also find yourself having difficulty saying no and putting yourself last in relationships.
Friend, remember that you are deserving of emotional, physical, and relational boundaries. We also want to empower you to spend intentional time thinking about what areas in your life, both personal and professional, could benefit from assessing and shifting your boundaries.
You may even set boundaries with yourself too. For example, if you have a loud inner critic, consider shifting your expectations of yourself and others to one that is more flexible and compassionate. This is one kind way to start working towards more self worth.
If you aren’t sure what boundaries to implement and need help setting them in a healthy way, we are here to help you. We’ve created How To Practice Healthy Boundary Setting, an evidence-based course.
In this course, you’ll gain confidence and clarity, enhance peace of mind, and reduce the resentment you feel towards yourself and others. You’ll learn the necessary skills for self-worth, self-care, and connection with others.
If this resonates with you, you can register for the course here.
You are worthy of feeling confident and joyful.
Thank you, friend, for letting us provide you with some gentle guidance.
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
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