As we move into the festive whirl of the holiday season, you may find a familiar and unwanted guest accompanying you: Social anxiety.
If you are experiencing heightened fear around holiday gatherings and social commitments – you are not alone. Many feel daunted by social settings and share this struggle, especially during this time of year when our commitments may be increased.
At Becoming Anchored, we want to unwrap social anxiety with warmth and understanding, offering a beacon of hope for those who might feel overwhelmed in social tides.
Social anxiety is not just about being shy or introverted; it is an overestimation of the perceived threats in social interactions. This can stem from our temperament, meaning that some of us may have a genetic predisposition to navigating mental health concerns like anxiety. It may also stem from less-than-joyful memories of past gatherings or a loud inner critic.
We are here to remind you that it is okay to seek fun and connection at your own pace. Further, we are dedicated to supporting you as you navigate through this fear with compassionate care and evidence-based resources.
4 Mindful Strategies to Manage Social Anxiety
1. Cultivating Awareness and Insight
I invite you to start recognizing your body’s social compass. Get curious about what is happening in your body before, during, and after a social event.
Does your chest tighten at the thought of a work party? Does your speech accelerate when you’re standing in a circle of new acquaintances? This may be a signal to you that anxiety is present.
Our emotions, such as fear, often show up in our bodies before we are mentally aware of them. By identifying the body’s cues, you can better understand your experiences and prepare yourself to face social situations with greater awareness and self-compassion.
2. Separating Fact from Fiction
Consider the narratives you tell yourself in social scenarios. “They didn’t smile back, so they must dislike me” is a common story that may not hold true.
Our thoughts are often not rooted in factual information or experiences, often referred to as a cognitive distortion within the therapeutic space. We have a choice in how we respond to our thoughts. We may respond with humor and say something like, “hey brain, I see you, but I am choosing not to engage with this thought.” We may also share with a friend who understands our anxiety or bring it up in an upcoming therapy session.
I encourage you to practice flexible alternatives to the stories you are currently telling yourself, such as, “maybe they didn’t smile back because they didn’t see me” or one of the other many possibilities that could be true.
Additionally, I gently invite you to sit with the uncertainty of not knowing what other people are thinking and tolerating that discomfort.
3. Approaching Over Avoiding
Consider the power of choice. The decision to engage in social activities, despite feelings of anxiety, can be incredibly empowering. It teaches us that we can tolerate discomfort and positively reinforces our ability to handle challenging situations.
Even if social anxiety is tagging along, you can still partake in the joy of the season. I encourage you to take small steps towards the path of confidence.
4. Finding Safety and Comfort in the Crowd
Creating safety in social settings is about finding what works for you and allowing yourself that grace.
Finding safety can be as simple as connecting with and leaning on a trusted friend in the room. It can be as personal as holding onto a warm cup of hot chocolate as a comforting gesture or stepping out for a moment of solitude.
Additional Resources
Free Safe and Connected Masterclass:
Created by a licensed therapist, our free masterclass will help you foster meaningful connections where you feel sincerely valued, safe, understood, and secure. You will also understand how to effectively communicate, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate self-compassion.
Become safe and connected, learn more and register for our masterclass here.
Compassionate Affirmation:
“My presence is enough. Even when fear is present, I can navigate social gatherings with confidence and authenticity.”
Becoming Anchored in Hope,
Laura
LPC-MHSP, CEDS-C, ACS, NCC
At Becoming Anchored Co., we are dedicated to supporting individuals on their journey toward personal growth and well-being. Our mission is to provide tools and insights that foster resilience, connection, and authenticity.
Our evidence-based resources, including our podcast and courses, are designed to empower you. We have also curated a selection of thoughtfully designed products to help you stay anchored – that you can wear on your path to discovery and growth.
We believe in the importance of creating a nurturing and inclusive environment where every story is valued and honored. Join us in our commitment to thriving and flourishing together.
